Writing 39A | Chris
Writing Showcase
On this page, I will describe the process of creating my final analysis essay. "How Captain America becomes the role model with healthy masculinity".
Planning and Exploratory Writing
This screenshot shows the annotation I did in Beauty and Beast. This is the first annotation I did about Disney films. It gives me a brief idea that how to do a well-organized and effective annotation for the film. Also, I learn what is the gender construction in Disney films which helps decide the topic of my analysis essay. In this assignment, I apply my reading skills to various kinds of texts like films. My ability of reading and understanding got practiced.
This is the exploratory writing on social construction I did in week 1. This assignment helps me understand what is social construction and how to make connections between social construction and the course question. I understand the importance of engagement. You need to make well preparation before composing an article. This exploratory writing builds me a solid fundamental concept of social construction which I learn through the course.
Peer Review
This is the peer review I got for my introductory paragraph. I think this is definitely the best review I have ever received. He clearly points out the key information I want to say in the paragraph which gives me confidence that I clearly state my point. Also, he gives me some suggestions on how to review my paragraph and those suggestions is really helpful which save me a lot of time during revision. I would like to receive me review like this. Understand the importance of peer review to your own reading and writing.
I think this is the best advice I gave to my classmates. I highlighted the key point in her articles that I think match the topic of the essay. Then I give my analysis of her paragraph with some advice on how to make changes. Also, I get some ideas from her article on how to review my own introductory paragraph. Therefore, I think this peer review helps a lot in composing my essay. Also, my peer review skills get improved through practice.
Self-Review
In this annotation, I noticed that this paragraph contains too much description of the film instead of analysis. Since it is an analysis essay, the main part for each body paragraph should focus on the analysis of film instead of details. In this part, I didn't give enough information on analysis which makes the paragraph confused to readers. I understand the importance of self-review, without this self-review, I could not make an effective modification like this.
In this annotation, I think I could add more details and information about "toxic masculinity". This is one of the key points I mainly talk in my essay so I believe more details will help readers better understand this concept. Based on this annotation, I should focus on some concepts I give in my essay. Review if they have enough information that enables readers to understand the idea.
Revision
One revision I did that I think is substantial work is re-writing my thesis paragraph. Professor Haas help me with this revision. She gave some suggestions on how to make my thesis more concise. My first draft thesis seems not to focus on the topic of the course, and it talks too much about Captain America instead of the connection between Captain America and gender roles. After the revision of my thesis, it becomes more focus on my topic, also it includes the relation between Captain America and gender roles. Moreover, it mentions Disney's contribution to social construction.
The second revision is my conclusion paragraph. The first draft of my conclusion lacks some information that discuss how Captain America become the role model of modern man with the points I give in my essay, therefore I add one sentence to make conclusions more focused.
